Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
