Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
