ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
