the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
