Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Even my vagina gasped.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
