but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
