i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He has the fingertips of a God
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