I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
