I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
