he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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