I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
