Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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