He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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