How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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