He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
