We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
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