If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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