You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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