they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
