i permit you to call me
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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