Porn is love you can see.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
