Say something about gay babies.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
