they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
