So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
