well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
