We won't sleep together?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
