He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
