I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
