im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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