i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
