I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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