JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
