Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
