Dual....:-)
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
