official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
