Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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