your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
