If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
