Your tits are I can't wait for
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
