Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
