So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Do vagina's smell?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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