Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
How does it feel to date your dad?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
