You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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