Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
