allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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