Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
