then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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