Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
