it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
