If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
