Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
